Blog Archive

Here's an archive of anything I've written on this blog (besides Trashy Recipe Recommendations, which have their own tab).  

You will notice several posts labeled "Trashy Shorts" in the list below.  Trashy Shorts are described as this:


It would take you longer to read a list of the names of dudes I skanked out with in my 20’s than it would for you to read these “Trashy Shorts” posts.  Then again, a 500-page legal document would probably take less time to read than a list of the names of dudes I skanked out with in my 20’s, too.  Which is all beside the point, because I can’t make an accurate list: If I happened to catch names, I was usually too drunk to remember them.


In any case, these particular posts are short.

I used to have a separate tab for Trashy Shorts but recently decided to streamline Trashy Blog, so Shorts and regular-length posts will all be found here now.

Thank you so much for reading!

Sibling Rivalry and Nostalgia
Are You Pregnant?
Wedding Season (aka "Three Ways to Get Kicked out of a Wedding")
High Blood Pressure and the Blame Game
Hemorrhoids:  The Holiday Gift that Keeps on Giving
Suck a Dick
F*ck Halloween
Back to School
Blueberry Pancakes
Beach Vacation
School's Out for the Summer
5 Tips for High School Graduates Heading off to College (from Someone Who Knows)
Scarred for Life
Catholic Guilt Begins in the Cradle
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle...Redirect?
Daylight Saving Can Suck My Balls
Boogers and Hand Jobs
And When I Say "Early," I Mean "On Time"
Home on Leave
Precious Time with Family
New Year's Resolutions
7 Things I Love about Christmas
Crazy
Spare Key
Dutch Oven Thanksgiving
Intervention and Hoarders and Trailers
Life Lessons
Whine about It Wednesdays
Grandpa's One-Liners
This Is Why I Hate Dressing Up
Trashy Shorts: Packing Checklist
5 Reasons I Hate Halloween
Friday Funny
Cupcakes and Broccoli Lo Mein and Corey Haim, Oh My!
Butt Fungus
It's Racing Season, Bitches!!  (Otherwise Known as "When Will My Dumb Ass Ever Learn?")
Where Does My 3yo Come up with this Stuff...and How Can I Keep Myself from Laughing??
Trashy Shorts: Cleaning out My Closets
Simon
Trashy Shorts:  Let Him Eat Cake
Trashy Shorts:  Lunch Box
Quintessential White Girl Post about Loving Fall
Trashy Shorts:  Getting Him the Help He Needs
I Didn't Think I Was Bitter until I Sat Down to Write this Story
Trashy Shorts:  The Salmon Roll Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree
Trashy Shorts:  Parenting with Love and Hardly Any Logic
An Open Letter to the Runner Who Got all Sourpuss About the Catcalls
Reading with My Preschooler
Book Giveaway!!
Fifty Shades
Trashy Shorts:  A Conversation Between Brothers
Trashy Shorts:  Me and Jesus and the Toilet Paper Roll
Trashy Shorts:  Why Didn't I Think of That?
Cagician
Trashy Shorts:  Old Lady Pucker Lips
Trashy Shorts:  Suck It, Hot Dog Haters
Trashy Shorts:  Shit My Mom Shares on Facebook #2
Trashy Shorts: As Long as You Promise
Trashy Shorts:  Grout
Trashy Shorts:  Sound Advice from My 6-Year-Old
Peeing in the Pool
Trashy Shorts:  Feeding the Fish
Yeah, RIGHT
What Was the Point Again?
Trashy Shorts: It's the Running
Alligator
The Struggle Is Real
Mermaids and Pirates
A Little 4th of July Anecdote
5 Miles a Day Keeps the Snarfing at Bay...or not
Trashy Shorts:  Hermit Crabs Are People, Too
Trashy Shorts:  Snack
Trashy Shorts:  Movie Night
Liars and Facebook
Penis
Season Passes
Trashy Shorts:  He Likes Me; He Really Likes Me
Trashy Shorts:  Conversations in the Car
Trashy Shorts:  I Should Have Been a Party Planner
Growing Up Is Hard to Do
Trashy Shorts:  Owning a Gremlin Carries Much Responsibility
Trashy Shorts:  Divas
Trashy Shorts:  Etiquette
Trashy Shorts:  Movie Kisses
Summer Kickoff
Trashy Shorts:  Sexting, Take 2
Trashy Shorts: I Am not a Dude
Don't Quit Your Day Job
Trashy Shorts:  Be on the Lookout
Trashy Shorts: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
Batshit
Trashy Shorts:  #TimeFlies
Trashy Shorts: I Guess So
Trashy Shorts:  On Having Kids
I Win
Trashy Shorts:  Stylish
Trashy Shorts:  It Makes Sense to Me
Leprosy
Trashy Shorts:  Fuller House
Trashy Shorts:  St. Therese
Trashy Shorts:  Rough Day
Nerf:  A Study in Photos
Earth Day
Trashy Shorts:  Utility Vehicle Shaming
Trashy Shorts:  Little Women NY
Trashy Shorts:  Monday Morning
Tupperware Party
Trashy Shorts:  #RHONYC
Trashy Shorts:  Because Where Else Would They Be?
Trashy Shorts:  Hot Dogs and New Babies
Trashy Shorts:  Shit My Mom Shares on Facebook
Trashy Shorts:  Peanut (Butter Egg) Gallery
Trashy Shorts:  Easter Quotes
I'm Scared
Trashy Shorts:  I Won't Quit any of My Several Day Jobs
Trashy Shorts:  File This Under...
Trashy Shorts: Rude
Trashy Shorts:  Teenage Angst
Trashy Shorts:  Sexting
Trashy Shorts:  Febreze the Pits
Trashy Shorts:  A Shadow of My Former Self
Trashy Shorts:  Their Ears Are Bigger than Their Stomachs...or However that Saying Goes
The Grocery List Addition that kind of "Popped Out" at Me, if You Will
Trashy Shorts:  Lexapro, Anyone?
Trashy Shorts:  True Story
Trashy Shorts:  Science Rocks
Trashy Shorts:  Playing with Fire
Lunch On Saturday
A Brief History of the Shart
Trashy Shorts:  Hun-gray
Trashy Shorts:  Nightmares
Trashy Shorts:  I Know Where My Husband Keeps His Other Wives
Running
Trashy Shorts:  Huh?
Trashy Shorts:  I'm Smart
Trashy Shorts: These Little Stubbies Are Looking Good Tonight
Trashy Shorts:  Isn't there a Book about Loving Your Little A-holes?
Apron
Trashy Shorts:  Called Out
Trashy Shorts:  In the Words of a Semi-Happily Married Couple
Trashy Shorts:  But She's a Cartoon
Happy Valentine's Day
Trashy Shorts:  Fried Chicken
Trashy Shorts:  Kidz Bop 27
Trashy Shorts:  Sick Day
Trashy Shorts:  Explosive D
Princess Elsa
Trashy Shorts:  It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Trashy Shorts:  A 3-Year-Old's Wish
Book Review and Giveaway:  What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
Trashy Shorts:  Look What You Did
Trashy Shorts:  Your Fatness
Trashy Shorts:  Childhood Obesity
Doosh
Trashy Shorts:  Really Twisted Canvas
Trashy Shorts:  But Are They All Collecting Benefits?
Trashy Shorts:  Heathens
The Greatest Pickup Line Ever
Trashy Shorts:  PMS
Trashy Shorts:  Donnie Wahlberg Wants Me
Trashy Shorts:  It's not about You
Trashy Shorts:  Weather Report
Trashy Shorts:  Some Rules Are Made to Be Broken
Trashy Shorts:  Aren't They Funny
Pretty Much the Best Gift Ever
Trashy Shorts:  Poop
Rudolph
Trashy Shorts: Eat This, Not That
Trashy Shorts:  Morning Commute:  Christmas Edition
Elf on the Shelf
Trashy Shorts:  Elf Shaming...or Is It the Other Way Around?
Trashy Shorts:  Visiting Santa
Family Gift Exchange
Trashy Shorts:  Reason #352 Why She's My Best Friend
Trashy Shorts:  Um, Holy Shit
Trashy Shorts:  It Was a Stupid Game, Anyway
Tube Sock Snowman
Thanksgiving Attire
Trashy Shorts:  He's Actually Got a Point
Trashy Shorts:  What Did You Say This Was Again, Son?
Proofs
Trashy Shorts:  Shoes
Is There a Medal?
Trashy Shorts:  Deal
Trashy Shorts:  Bobbing for Apples
Photo Evidence
Trashy Shorts:  Winter Wardrobe
5 Reasons I Hate Halloween
A Little Ebola Humor
Trashy Shorts:  Phone Call
As Seen on TV
Trashy Shorts:  Will You Accept this Cake Pop?
Trashy Shorts:  Does Anyone Know of a Good Bris-ist?
4th Turn Attendant
Trashy Shorts:  What the Hell Is This?
Trashy Shorts:  Halloween Costume
Trashy Shorts: Sick
Say Yes to the Dress
Trashy Shorts:  Anniversary Celebration
Trashy Shorts:  I Fcking Love People
Trashy Shorts:  DUH, Dad
Throwback Thursday (on a Friday)
Trashy Shorts: Late Night Conversation, aka "Scrotum"
Trashy Shorts:  The Morning Commute
Trashy Shorts:  A Painful Chevron
Trashy Shorts:  Venus Fly Trap
Dirty Little Secrets
Back to School
Trashy Shorts: Titanic
Trashy Shorts:  Signs Signs Everywhere Signs
Pineapples
Trashy Shorts: Boys
Trashy Shorts:  Pinocchio Is My Real Father
The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
Get a Grip
Trashy Shorts:  Running Season
Trashy Shorts:  Big Willie Style's all in It
Blueberry Picking
Trashy Shorts:  Thinking About Doing Twilight Today
Trashy Shorts:  Is It Really a Plant?
Trashy Shorts:  Hot as Balls
Trashy Shorts:  Sweat
Pool Rules
Trashy Shorts:  Country Boy
Trashy Shorts:  Ah, Summer
Morbidity Complex
Trashy Shorts: Family Vacation
Trashy Shorts:  Family Reunion
Watermelon Keg
Trashy Shorts: Christmas in July
Trashy Shorts:  DVR
Trashy Shorts:  The Bundle
Such a Pretty Lantern of Fire...aka "Happy 4th of July"
Trashy Shorts:  New Addiction
Customs and Smoked Cheese
Trashy Shorts:  Minecraft
Ice Cream Truck
Trashy Shorts:  Bike
Trashy Shorts: The Lego Movie
Trashy Shorts: Growth
Trashy Shorts:  Diet
Grandma Lottie Called
The Pool Is Open
Highchair
Trashy Shorts:  Donna Martin Graduates
A Belated Mother's Day Surprise
Trashy Shorts: Pop Tarts and McNuggets
Trashy Shorts:  Breathe
Trashy Shorts:  Kinda Proud of This One
My New Series
Trashy Shorts: Mustache Shoes and Pubes
Trashy Shorts:  Necklace
Trashy Shorts:  Pillow Pet
Trashy Shorts:  My Best Friend's Midlife Crisis
Trashy Shorts: Romance
Shove that Shirt up Your Ass...and Other Things My Mom Said at Our Easter Celebration
Easter Drunks
Facebook Wars and Easter Peeps
Mad Libs
Spring Break 2014...Also Known as Spring Break, a Half Marathon and the Quintessential Sitcom Neighbor
My Dad's Birthday
Fish Sticks:  A Totally (Un)Inspirational Story of Lenten Sacrifice
Wedding Card
A Lesson in Humanity
Skirt
Fcking Frozen Pizzas
Pancakes
George Strait
Pasta Boat
Stairs
Megyn Kelly
Coffee Fight
Christmas Lights and the Quintessential Sitcom Neighbor
My Thanksgiving Thankful List
The Worst Thanksgiving Ever
Drizzle
Bird Poem
5 Reasons I Hate Halloween
Fly on the Wall:  The Dear God, this Is Actually My Life Edition
Bitch Tits
Worst Date?  Worst 4 Months
Door-to-Door Salesman
Conversation with the Hubs
Holy Shit
Garage Door
Fly on the Wall:  Golden Child Edition
Something a Little Different
Take Me out to the Ballgame
Kate's Pregnant?
Summertime Tips from Trashy Blog
You Are NOT the Father 2.0
What Cosmo Doesn't Tell Us
Bedazzle Me
I Could Really Kill My _________ Today
Towel:  A Totally (Not) Inspirational Story about Idiot Kids
Mom Texts
It's a Last-Minute Father's Day GIVEAWAY, Skanksters!!
Family Picture
What's My Motherfcking Name?
Poop Wars:  A Totally (Not) Inspirational Mother's Day Story
More Fun When Drinking
Raising Boys
Tupperware Party
Hitting the Gym
Pink or Blue
Spring Break 2013 Wooo-hooooooo!
Diva
Sweating It
Scary Mommy and an Award!
Adoption Faux Pas
Catholic Guilt
Bullshit
Ode to My Ex-Boyfriend, Original Carrier
The Grinch:  Teenage Angst Come Early
Snapped Marathons
Christmas Memories 2012
At the Risk of Being too Cute to Be Trashy for this Year's Christmas Post
Unfortunate Giveaway Winner and a Christmas Story that Totally Won't Warm Your Heart
Merry Christmas, You Little Bastard
You Are NOT the Father
Breaking Amish




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