Monday, June 1, 2015

Trashy Shorts: Movie Kisses

My 3-year-old and I have this little barter system going on.

“Mommy,” he’ll ask, “can I have a cup of juice?”  (As a total grammar girl, it just about kills me to use the improper “can” instead of “may,” but I like to be as true to these memories as I can because I immensely enjoy the little quirks in their speech as they grow older.)

“Hmm,” I’ll say, tapping my finger on my chin and pretending to think.  “I think so.  For 2 smoochies.”

He’ll heave an exaggerated sigh and pretend to be exasperated, but the whole time he’ll smile while inclining his sweet face so I can smooch those adorable, still-chubby little cheeks.

A couple of weeks ago, he asked me for a snack.  “Sure,” I responded.  “I’ll let you pick a snack from the cupboard…for 2 kisses.”

“Movie kisses?” he asked me.  Except he said it “moobie kisses.” Adorbs.

Curious, I cocked my head to the side.  “Movie kisses? What are movie kisses?”

“Come here, Mommy,” he said.  “I’ll show you.”

I leaned down so that my face was level with his and had to hold in my laughter as he placed a hand gently on each side of my face and very slowly moved in to plant a smooch smack on my lips.

You guys, I have no idea what the hell movies he’s watching at night while the rest of us are asleep—or how he’s figured out how to work the parental controls on DVR—but OMG, kids these days.

9 comments:

  1. The real win here is keeping an eye on your kid's grammar.

    Now, I'm sure this is adorable for you, but I don't like this barter system. I don't want to have to kiss a child for anything, especially on the lips. I'll just stick with cash.

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    1. I hear ya. I'm the same way with other people's kids. They'll be like, "Oh, do you want to hold my baby and get your baby fix?" and I'm like, "EW. No. I can't stand babies."

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  2. Utterly adorable Shay! I'd say you've got a charmer on your hands!

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    1. Thanks, Teri! Oh, and I got my American Sniper DVD set in the mail yesterday. AWESOME!!

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  4. Aw! I'm a grammar snob but only when writing. In conversation I feel like I sound snooty. Like, if I got in a fight in a bar and broke a bottle and said, "Do you think you're better than I?" it would sound wrong. ;)

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    1. I swear I cannot stop laughing at that, Liz. I'm am going to be thinking of this comment all day in my head and cracking up at random times. THAT'S how big of a fcking nerd I am--but I can't help it. "Do you think you're better than I?!" during a bar fight is awesome.

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  5. Whew. I thought you were going to tell us he tried to slip you some tongue. Is this the same child whose friend ate popcorn while he pooped? I love your kids.

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