Monday, May 18, 2015

Trashy Shorts: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

When you're cleaning your guest bathroom on Friday night in preparation for the guests that you'll be having over the next day, and you find your mind wandering, causing you to realize that because you have so many people over, you aren't even sure who the last people to have visited were.

You shrug, smiling, almost humming to yourself because what a blessing to have so many family and friends visit that you can't even remember which ones were the last to do so--simply because it's hard to keep them all straight.

And then your eyes land on a stray pube, waiting to be swiped out of the shower with the paper towel you've doused with disinfectant spray...and suddenly, you feel a whole lot more intimate with each and every one of those previous guests, as you can only take a guess as to whose stray piece of bush/happy trail is currently resting in your otherwise gleaming bath tub.

It's not an altogether welcome feeling, as many of those guests have, as we've already established, been family members. And really, even if I knew the pube belonged to a friend, which would be a little less gross...well, it's small consolation, because my friends aren't that hot.

And you guys, I just don't really think I want to talk about this anymore.


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