Thursday, April 9, 2015

Trashy Shorts: Shit My Mom Shares on Facebook...

…because I shouldn’t be the only poor bastard who has to witness it.

Oh, I know, I could hide her, delete her—even block her like my sister-in-law did—but you guys, her page and the things that come across my newsfeed from it are like goddamned train wrecks. I can’t help but look.

In fact, if you were behind me on the highway, I’d be one of those asshole rubberneckers you’d be honking at to move the hell out of the way before I made you late or, even worse, caused a massive 200-car pileup.

Sometimes I even click on the links that she shares, and then I’ll immediately regret it due to the dirty, ashamed feelings that instantly well up inside of me from doing so.

Today, I’d like to pass those feelings of shame along to you with this Facebook offering from my mother.  Just be glad I don’t have your personal cell phone number; my best friend is already Facebook friends with my mom, but I still screenshot this shit and text it to her on the daily—you know, just in case she was fortunate enough to miss it the first time.  She usually ends up seeing it twice.


She’s welc.  And so are you.  J


I love the little photo comment she added on this one--"Haha haha okay"--as if she has any right to make fun of the concept when she herself loved it so much that she passed it on.  Ah, moms on Facebook. So fun.

3 comments:

  1. That is classic! Now I want to click on it and send it to my sisters. Have I been pooping all wrong for 42 years?!

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  2. You cannot unfriend your mom - this is too entertaining!

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  3. My mother used to yell at me if I didn't like her posts. Like she would actually take the time to call me and demand that I like some picture she posted immediately.

    I am no longer on Facebook.

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