Monday, May 5, 2014

Trashy Shorts: Pillow Pet

It would take you longer to read a list of the names of dudes I skanked out with in my 20’s than it would for you to read these “Trashy Shorts” posts.  Then again, a 500-page legal document would probably take less time to read than a list of the names of dudes I skanked out with in my 20’s, too.  Which is all beside the point, because I can’t make an accurate list: If I happened to catch names, I was usually too drunk to remember them.

In any case, these particular posts are short.
 
"Pillow Pet"
Apparently my dad and my Uncle Jim won a pillow pet yesterday during a heated game of church Bingo.  How do two grown men win one pillow pet to share during an adults-only Bingo game?  I have no clue, but you can bet your ass that there are going to be some fights going on over that stupid cow pillow. 

It’s a pity there’s no modern-day King Solomon around to solve this one, although now that I think about it, it’s probably for the best, as each of those stubborn bastards would grab a side and pull, screaming, “Split it!  Split it right down the middle, dammit!”

For more on how much my dad loves his free shit, click here, and omg, you guys, I WISH I didn’t have to be anonymous, because there is such a great picture that my dad posted on Facebook of him and his brother—two men in their 60’s—posing with their pillow pet. Someday I hope to be able to show you…

2 comments:

  1. Could you out those black bars over their faces like they do in homemade pornos? Then we couldn't see their faces, just their shame---I mean Pillow Pet.

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  2. I think you need to find a way to share that photo... priceless!

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