Friday, May 31, 2013

It's a Last-Minute Father's Day GIVEAWAY, Skanksters!!


When Datevitation first approached me to do a sponsored post, I was all like, “Someone’s going to pay me to write about their product?  Have they seen how ridiculous this blog is?”

 
I quickly shot an e-mail back to Camille, my Datevitation representative.  I didn’t want to sound like a pretentious asshole when I advised her to read a few of my posts,  because it wasn’t about me being all uppity as a writer…especially when said “writer” comes in the form of an unpublished blog authorette who looks like a horse.  DAMMIT. 

 
Instead, it was about making sure, before I put my heart and soul into my very first sponsored post, that she really and truly wanted her company to be associated with this level of blog skank.

 
Here’s what she replied:

 
I've already looked over your blog many times and find it hilarious. It's admittedly a bit more "edgy" than most bloggers we have worked with, but we love all different voices at Datevitation. Even though many of our illustrations are "lovey-dovey" we do have some pretty hilarious illustrations (check out our creative, alcohol, and adult-only categories if you haven't already!). Plus, with our gender-neutral figures, we have male-male and female-female versions of all the illustrations (so it's great for same-sex couples as well). What I'm getting at is that we have something for everyone, and we're unapologetic about it! That's the whole point of Datevitation. Everyone is different and unique, so we empower our customers to create books with over 350 options and then edit the text so that the end result is the perfect gift for their unique relationship.

 
Basically what I got out of that e-mail was “Shay, you are hilarious and edgy.”  And if there’s one thing you guys should know about me by now, it’s that flattery will get you everywhere.  Why do you think I was such a skank in college?  It took any random dude about 5 seconds at the end of the night to get this last resort to go home with him: 

 
Random dude, probably ugly:  “What was your name again?” 

Me, probably drunk:  “Shay.” 

Random dude:  “Sarah?  Oh, Sarah, you are so pretty.  Wanna come back to my place?” 

Me:  “Yep.”

 
END SCENE

 
So I was all about the Datevitation post, especially when I researched it more thoroughly (Doesn’t that sound so professional?  What it means is that I followed the links that Camille gave me) and saw how easy and cute it was.

 
Basically, what Datevitation offers is a really cool digital upgrade on those coupon books we used to make for our parents or loved ones when we were kids.  In Camille’s words:


·   You can create a one-of-a-kind gift book for someone you love full of fun activities to do together (you pick your cover, choose from over 350 date ideas, and can customize the text). 

·   Our library contains over 350 date ideas ranging from skydiving to stargazing to steamy adult-only activities. We also have over 100 book cover options to suit any occasion.

·   In addition to being the perfect romantic gift for your sweetie, Datevitation just launched its "boy" and "girl" characters with over 200 new activity illustrations specifically for kids and parents.  Just in time for Father’s Day!


After reading Camille’s bulleted list, I was ready to create my very own custom love coupon book, the book that I would present to the hubs as his Father’s Day gift.


Now, I knew I had to be careful with the coupons that I created, because I knew that I’d have to follow through with all of the activities I included.  Thing is, I spent so much of my past being a lying, cheating whore (not to the hubs, mind you, but he gets to reap the benefits of my own guilt over my past) that I sometimes feel like I’ve got to prove myself—if ONLY to myself.  So dammit, I was going to make this book, and I was going to be faithful to what I’d included!

 
Of course, as I started putting my book together, I immediately went to the steamy adult-only activities.  I think we all know by now that I am totally not into steamy adult-only activities, but I’m immature and they’re the first coupons I wanted to look at.  And my gosh, Datevitation thought of EVERYTHING.  I know I’ve got a lot of skanksters reading (Birds of a feather flock together, right?  I love my fellow skanksters!) and trust me, you guys will LOVE that section.  And unlike me, some of you might even enjoy sex with your husbands, so these coupons will be an added bonus for you!

 
As I perused the steamy section, I started wondering if Datevitation provided people to come out and DO the stuff, too.  If so, I’d fill the whole damned book with steamy adult activities and earn myself a few minutes off.



 
But alas, I searched the site from top to bottom and found that they are NOT a steamy adult coupon book activity escort service—and that that’s not even legal in most states.  Who knew? 

 
So I gave up that dream, and knowing I’d have to be the one to complete the tasks, I compromised by adding only one steamy adult activity coupon in the hubs’s book.  I’ll rip that page out before I give it to him.

 
Seriously, though, you guys, I’m a total techno-dumbass.  This poor girl had to pay me to write this post so that she could spend half of her day teaching me how to do Rafflecopter for the giveaway at the bottom, and all I had to do for that was POST A LINK.

 
So needless to say, I was totally skeptical when she told me how easy it was to create my custom love coupon book.  And I hate it as much as you do when people start their testimonials like that, but there really is no other way to start it.  Because it’s true:  I was skeptical, but dammit, it was the easiest thing in the world.  It would have taken me about 5 minutes if I hadn’t been laughing so hard at my own wittiness in creating the custom text to go along with the activities I’d picked, and if I hadn’t been having so much fun poring over the many, many creative and fun coupons they’ve included for you to choose from.

 
For example, I wanted to be a huge asshole and give my husband a coupon book full of activities that I love and say something like this on the front page, which you can also customize:  “Happy Father’s Day!  You get a coupon book full of activities to do with me so you can make sure I stick around!” and then fill the booklet with things like a date at a café, meditating, visiting a book store, drinking gourmet coffee, going to a Farmer’s Market, eating sushi, and buying jewelry.  (They actually have all of that AND MORE!)

 
But as I continued to have fun looking around, I saw so many that were perfect for the hubs:

 
      ·  Songwriting

·  Guys’ Night Out

·  Win an Argument (which I couldn’t bring myself to include because I wasn’t sure I could follow through)

·  Recreate First Date (which I did include even though I know he’ll remember we had sex and want to cash in on that again)

·  No Complaining (which I totally would have included if it had instead said “No Talking.”  He doesn’t listen to my complaints, anyway, so what he’d actually give an arm and a leg for is for me to just shut the H up every once in a while)

·  Kids-Free Day (On this one, I customized the text to say this:  A day is what the company put on the coupon.  Let’s go ahead and customize that to 2 hours, shall we?”  I got a good laugh out of that; I’m sure he will, too.  And if not, at least I did.)

 
I seriously LOVED making this book.  I had such a blast with it, and I know you will, too.  As an incentive to try, Datevitation is offering a giveaway to one lucky reader.  Simply enter the Rafflecopter giveaway at the end of this post by June 5.  If you win, Datevitation will contact you—but if you want your coupon book by Father’s Day, you’ll have to make sure you get on it and make it by June 6.  Honestly, it takes a few clicks and you’re done, so the time crunch shouldn’t be a problem.



 
For those who don’t win, Datevitation is offering a $10 off promo code for readers of Trashy Blog in May or June.  This is essentially 50% off since coupon books run around $20.  All you have to do is enter the promo code TRASHYBLOG when you go to order.

And finally, before signing off, I’d like to offer Datevitation just a few suggestions to include as options for their next round of custom love coupon books:

"I will help you to enjoy Daddy Time with the kids by taking a nap while you take them outside to play.  HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!"

"I will let you lighten my load by allowing you to do the dishes tonight after you make dinner—even though you normally do both totally incorrectly.  HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!"

"I will allow you to rub my feet.  HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!"

 
Datevitation:  Great product.  Thanks for the opportunity—and for the great Father’s Day gift, because I sure as hell hadn’t come up with anything yet.  And now I’m all good. 


 
 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

33 comments:

  1. Yay. I love giveaways. And coupons. And you.

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    1. Aw, thank you! I'm not even kidding; I'm so glad they contacted me b/c I had no idea what I was going to give the hubs. I'm going to slap this booklet on top of a 12-pack of Guinness, and I'm good, girlfriend! :)

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  2. Crap, Father's day is NEXT week. thanks for the reminder. Oh and I don't think I could let him win an argument. Can you put in there that we let them THINK they won?

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    1. I know! It always sneaks up on me, too! And you've got a great idea there. We should definitely write the company with that one! Haha

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  3. What a great idea! Really great! My Husby won't know what hit him!
    Really!

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    1. I thought it was great, too! Except now I'll be expected to perform...haha

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  4. Love the idea!!! But I'm, like, 100% certain I will not be including, "guys night out", "no complaining", and "kid-free day" in my gift to the hubs!!! :)

    Thanks for the laugh!!!

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    1. Haha!! I'd love to see what yours included. I'll bet you could come up with some hilarious coupons!

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  5. As your Father I will sarcastically say, "Thanks for thinking about Me!"------I'm not interested in your coupon book, stick it up your ass! And I will gladly except your usual gift of Seagrams to me on Fathers Day. Love, Dad

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    1. GOOD, because you weren't going to get a book of steamy adult activities from me, anyway, dirty perv. Stick it up your own ass. And yes, you'll be getting your normal gift of whatever kind of whiskey's on sale at the local Wal-Mart. You're welc. :)

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  6. Ah my fellow skankster, I don't really want to give my husband anything but the ability to offer without my asking to take my son away for six hours and go have a boys day. Without me. I don't even care if he takes my 3 year old to a titty bar. Just go away. If you think there's some coupons that would work for me when it comes to this? I am so in. And congrats on “Shay, you are hilarious and edgy.” because that's all I heard, too.

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    1. Oh, Kristi, you are hilarious and creative. I swear you could find some images that would work and write your own comments. It is really a fun site to play around on. You could probably find something titty-bar-ish in the adult steamy section and customize the text to tell your hubs what you just told me! I'm CRACKING UP!

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    2. I'm back. Just wanted to ask if you have any ideas for Father's Day because I just realized that it's like um soon? When the fuck is it anyway? Please give us a date and some ideas because I am at a loss and just want them to leave.
      Thank you, TraShay. Advice welcome.

      PS Do you have any ideas on what I can do for Father's Day?

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    3. I found the comment, Kristi! I FOUND THE COMMENT!! I seriously feel so accomplished today. :)

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  7. Oh, yeah, Father's Day. I almost forgot because I was so caught up reminiscing about the last five minutes of the night before the bar closed. That situation NEVER happened to me ;)

    If I tell you you're hilarious and edgy what's it gonna get me, huh?

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    1. My undying love and affection. :) But seriously, I'm already a devoted reader of your blog...maybe we could swap buttons??

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  8. Totally had fun doing this giveaway, too and seriously those steamy ones were almost better then my copy of 50 Shades of Grey, lol!! Notice I said almost :) :)

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    1. We had fun with 50 Shades, too! Haha

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  9. Ok, first of all just found your blog from the Lit hook up and I am in LOVE! Seriously, hysterical shit. As for the Datevision - well I am gonna have to do this cause I got nothing for my hubs Father Hour (as I have affectionately started calling it since my Mother's Day sucked.) So thanks for the laugh and the idea, much appreciated!

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    1. I LOVE what you call Father's Day! My first Mother's Day was pretty bad, and my hubs didn't hear the end of it for a long time, so now he does really well. I owe him a good one this year. Haha. I'm headed to your blog now. Thanks so much for stopping by--and for the sweet compliments!!

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  10. Why wouldn't I want to win this? Even though giving it to my husband for Father's Day might result in him becoming a father a third time, well, sometimes in life you just gotta roll the dice.

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    1. Oh, Melissa, you have me cracking up over here! That might be an issue for us, too, if I hadn't have made him get a vasectomy 6 weeks after the 2nd was born!! Haha. Don't worry; he was all for it. Two's good for us. :)

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  11. Too Funny & good review. That was totally my experience too. Maybe Datevitation should include a coupon that says, "I will allow you to touch me" for you to give to your husband. Also, "Shut the hell up" would be a good one for almost any husband.

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  12. Win an argument? I think not!

    But love all the others :)

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    1. They also had "Doggy Style" if you're interested. Haha! But seriously...

      They had so much stuff, and it was honestly a BLAST looking at the pics and laughing so hard while I sent my hubs little snarky/lovey notes on each one. I just got mine today and it's perfect. Easiest Father's Day gift in the world...except, like I said above, for when I have to perform them all. Haha

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  13. OMG girl, you kill me! Companies need to pay you millions of dollars to review their stuff! That's the best non-ad ad I've read in a long time! I need to check this company out!

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  14. This is why I keep coming back here...no matter WHAT you are blogging about, I always end up laughing. And I am totally with you--if I gave one of these books to the Hubs, I'd have to tear out all the pages that offered anything remotely sexual. But I would definitely keep the ones that offered dining out...or chocolate...and caseloads of wine...

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    1. I LOVE that you keep coming back! I think we knew we were kindred spirits almost immediately!

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  15. So glad you did this giveaway--the best one of it I've seen, Shay! Bring that edge! :)

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    1. Aw, thank you so much, Meredith! And thanks for your advice on sponsorship!!

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