Friday, March 8, 2013

Trashy Recipe Recommendation


Don’t even act like you haven’t seen this and wanted to try it.  Don’t even play that game with me.

 

I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m a foodie, folks.  I whip up glorious meals on a regular basis—meals like potted meat smeared on white bread, Vienna sausages delicately heated in the microwave, fish sticks, chicken nuggets with buttered spaghetti noodles on the side, Ramen noodles, and, when I’m feeling really fancy, tater tot casserole or tuna mac.  Sometimes I’ll even microwave a veggie steamer to plop on the side. 

 

So it was no surprise that when this recipe started showing up all over Pinterest and Facebook, I just had to take a crack at it.

 

And I did.  I took one for the team, and not only did I love the meal, but I also want to list it as a “definite recommend” on the Trashy Blog recipe database. 

 

Before you go looking for it on my sidebar, I don’t actually have a Trashy Blog recipe database.  Can you imagine?  I’m fat enough without making this into a food blog and having to taste everything I post. But I would like to recommend the recipe, and here are my reasons why, in the form of a question/answer session:

 

1.)     Is it healthy? 

 

Um, no.

 

In fact, I’d say it’s pretty much whatever the extreme opposite of healthy is.  But let’s be fair, here.  Will it cause a heart attack?  Probably not.  So, you know, healthy enough. 

 

2.)     Does it taste good?

 

Absolutely not. 

 

It’s spaghetti noodles rammed through chunks of hot dogs, for eff’s sake.  Of course, my hot dogs were kind of old, so maybe if you used new ones (all you hifalutin mothers out there, you), you’ll have a more pleasant dining experience.

 

3.)     Is it cheap?

 

Was I a skank in college? 

 

Of course it’s cheap!  In fact, it’s probably cheaper than I was back in those days…which actually, come to think of it, wasn’t that cheap.  I could knock drinks back with the biggest and best of the football players for so many hours that I’m sure whichever poor bastard was sitting next to me on any given night waiting to take me home was normally thinking, “Holy SHIT when will this last resort finally be drunk enough?”

 

So if you’re planning on getting this recipe drunk enough to take it home—wait, where was I going with this? 

 

Oh.  It’s cheap.  Even cheaper than I was in college.  I suppose I could have left it at that, huh?

 

4.)    I’m counting calories.  What’s the caloric intake for this meal?

 

Doesn’t matter.  Because no matter how hard you try to keep it down, you’ll inevitably hork this shit right back up (see reason #2), taking some extra chunks of whatever you had for breakfast along.  In fact, you’ll probably end up at a calorie deficit after eating it.

 

5.)     Are the ingredients in my house right now?

 

If you’re as trashy as I am, they are.  In abundance. 

 

And if not, they’re nothing that can’t be found at your local Dollar Tree.  Well, Dollar Trees don’t sell hot dogs, but they sell taffy, and that’s close enough, right?

 

But seriously, peeps, my kids and I had so much fun making this “meal,” giggling as we watched to see who could fit the most spaghetti noodles into his/her hot dog pieces, that it actually ended up serving as our craft for the day, too.  (Mother of the year, bitches!)  And when it was finished, the kids gobbled it up—and so did the hubs, who actually got up from the table to get a second helping. 

 

Of course, he’s learned.  The one time that he did offer “constructive criticism” about one of my dinners, he ate frozen pizza for dinner for 6 consecutive months.  Which, actually, would probably have been preferable to this “meal,” but still.  He was a trouper.

 

So much so, in fact, that I think the kids and I will surprise him with this again tonight. 

 

Dinner’s served, bitches.

30 comments:

  1. My love affair with you continues to swell. I have tears in my eyes from the laughter. I've been looking for an opportunity to binge and purge with swimsuit season just around the corner! Thanks for the help with the horkin'! You're awesome.

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    1. "I've been looking for an opportunity to binge and purge with swimsuit season just around the corner..." OMG, laughing out loud. You are great!

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  2. I have totally made this for my kids and they LOVED it!! Throw some chili over it and hello!!!!

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    1. Oooh, I hadn't thought about the chili--I think I'll class it up next time with some of that!

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    1. Jenn--I think that just about sums it up!

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  4. Since finding your blog last week, I've read all your posts (but refrained from posting comments on all of them to avoid looking like the weirdo blogstalker that I am!) and this post does not disappoint.
    Maybe it's reverse psychology or something, but you somehow trash talking the dish, makes me want to make it ever more... Go figure!
    Ah well. Thanks for the laughs :)

    Ami x
    Www.mybeautybliss.net

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    1. You are the best! And by all means--blogstalk away. I always return the favor! (I mean, not in a creepy way. You know what I mean! :) )

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  5. Ha ha this is hilarious! I, too, have seen that recipe all over the place and have never tried it. Although it might be fun for my three-year old, I'm skeeved out by it for some reason. Although I should probably just do it, if only for the negative calorie factor.
    Love the way you wrote this.
    (visiting from our Google+ group and you're bookmarked now!)
    :D

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    1. Thanks, Kristi! That's why I HAD to do a blog post on it--we had all seen it, but not many of us were brave enough to try it. Haha. I was serious in my recommendation, though. It does not taste good, but the kids think it does (b/c hello...it's hot dogs and spaghetti noddles, haha), and it's SO easy and fun. I just subscribed to your blog, too. I love making new web friends! (WE ARE NERDS)

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  6. This recipe has been on my "to do" list for awhile... now it's on the menu for today!
    Thanks for the 'review' and the laughs!

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    1. You'll have to tell me what you think of it! Have I signed up to follow you yet? I'm going to go check that right now. Thanks for stopping by!

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  7. Tell me you had this post scheduled for 5:06 am and you weren't actually up posting this? Meanwhile my son saw this as I was reading your blog and said, CAN WE MAKE THAT????? OK course we can sweetie, cause our menu for the week was basically mac n' cheese, spaghetti, mac n' cheese and tacos. However I have this awesome recipe for pasta hotdogs broccoli and parmesan. So I am guessing if you melted some shredded parm in there it would be even more awesome. But you know, if that's too much for you, I totally understand!

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    1. I don't know why it said I posted at 5:06 AM! Weird...

      Hmm...melted shredded parm...do you think I could warm up some parmesan cheese sprinkles in the microwave and throw those on there instead? Just easier...;)

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  8. I totally made this back in the summer. And, since I was feeling all fancy and shit, I used ketchup and mustard to paint faces on the chunks of hot dogs and told my kids it was aliens. I also abstained from dinner that night (actually, I had grapes... in the form of wine) so I didn't end the meal with a calorie deficit, but the kids thought it was awesome. Proof that kids don't know anything.

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    1. Grapes...in the form of wine. Too funny!! I love that. You ARE fancy with your mustard on the faces. I'm doing that next time! Did you see Jules's comment above, where she said she threw some chili over the top of it? Now, here's the question--would both mustard and chili be just a bit too much? See, you girls start throwing all of these extra ingredients at me, and I just get confused. :) Thanks for stopping by! Coming over your way in a minute!

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  9. I F-ing love this!!! I saw the recipe on Pinterest or some place and yes I thought sure, why the hell not? And GAWD I always have these ingredients in my house! Now that I have read your five star review on it, guess what's cookin' at the Doyle house tonight? But then again, this comes from a woman who has been known to serve canned vegetable beef soup over spaghetti when the money situation sucks! HUL-arious post, my friend. Loved it.

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    1. Okay, first off, you leave awesome comments that make me feel so good (my husband would say "inflate her ego" but who listens to him, anyway? :) ) Thank you so much for that. Secondly, I was laughing out loud when I read that you have been known to serve canned vegetable beef soup over spaghetti when money is tight. I don't do that when money is tight--it's ALWAYS on my monthly rotation!! No joke! Except I use spiral egg noodles. And we all love it! See? You've got to get the family used to crap from the get-go so that their palates become numb to everything. :)

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  10. Hot Joe does the cooking in our house, but I am ALL ABOUT taking over one night and whipping up this little delight. He'll think I'm making something super special and won't he be surprised. You rule.

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    1. Surprise, surprise!! I'm sure he'll just love you for it. Haha

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  11. I've seen this before and totally wanted to try it with my kids. Glad you brought it back to my attention. :)

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    1. It really is a lot of fun to do with the kids. I might have to do it again soon myself! Thanks for stopping over this way!

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    2. And by the way--I was serious about wanting to try the recipe you posted. It looks delicious!!

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  12. OH. EM. GEE. this is freaking funny! i can honestly say i've never seen this done, but i bet my son would get a kick out of this! definitely going to give this a try.

    rockoomph.blogspot.com
    Firmoo Video Review + GIVEAWAY

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  13. Oh shit! That looks disgustingly fun! I'm not sure I could actually eat it but I would totally serve it to the kids, their stomachs are more forgiving than mine.

    Keep the cheap & bad coming! Love it!

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  14. So funny but I have to go to the bathroom right now since I've looked at the pic about 10 times....I've also spend the last hour reading all your stuff. Too funny. I probably shouldn't read your stuff while I'm at work. People be looking at me all funny!

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    1. I'm sorry if the pic made you hork! :) Thanks so much for reading; I can't wait to read your stuff!

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  15. Dude, that is culinary magnificence right there. And you know what? I'll bet if you "spring boarded" that recipe a bit...what?...oh, spring boarded? A little somethin' I picked up from the Frolicking, or Galloping Gourmet a while back...if you used the cheese dogs? It would create a delicate cheese sauce which would cascade over the noodles to create an amazing taste sensation! I'm just a little on the fence about what kind of tomato sauce to use here...marinara of Heinz?

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    1. Linda Roy, you are a goddamned genius. :)

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