Trashy Recipe Recommendation

Don’t even act like you haven’t seen this and wanted to try it.  Don’t even play that game with me.

 

I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m a foodie, folks.  I whip up glorious meals on a regular basis—meals like potted meat smeared on white bread, Vienna sausages delicately heated in the microwave, fish sticks, chicken nuggets with buttered spaghetti noodles on the side, Ramen noodles, and, when I’m feeling really fancy, tater tot casserole or tuna mac.  Sometimes I’ll even microwave a veggie steamer to plop on the side. 

 

So it was no surprise that when this recipe started showing up all over Pinterest and Facebook, I just had to take a crack at it.

 

And I did.  I took one for the team, and not only did I love the meal, but I also want to list it as a “definite recommend” on the Trashy Blog recipe database. 

 

Before you go looking for it on my sidebar, I don’t actually have a Trashy Blog recipe database.  Can you imagine?  I’m fat enough without making this into a food blog and having to taste everything I post. But I would like to recommend the recipe, and here are my reasons why, in the form of a question/answer session:

 

1.)     Is it healthy? 

 

Um, no.

 

In fact, I’d say it’s pretty much whatever the extreme opposite of healthy is.  But let’s be fair, here.  Will it cause a heart attack?  Probably not.  So, you know, healthy enough. 

 

2.)     Does it taste good?

 

Absolutely not. 

 

It’s spaghetti noodles rammed through chunks of hot dogs, for eff’s sake.  Of course, my hot dogs were kind of old, so maybe if you used new ones (all you hifalutin mothers out there, you), you’ll have a more pleasant dining experience.

 

3.)     Is it cheap?

 

Was I a skank in college? 

 

Of course it’s cheap!  In fact, it’s probably cheaper than I was back in those days…which actually, come to think of it, wasn’t that cheap.  I could knock drinks back with the biggest and best of the football players for so many hours that I’m sure whichever poor bastard was sitting next to me on any given night waiting to take me home was normally thinking, “Holy SHIT when will this last resort finally be drunk enough?”

 

So if you’re planning on getting this recipe drunk enough to take it home—wait, where was I going with this? 

 

Oh.  It’s cheap.  Even cheaper than I was in college.  I suppose I could have left it at that, huh?

 

4.)    I’m counting calories.  What’s the caloric intake for this meal?

 

Doesn’t matter.  Because no matter how hard you try to keep it down, you’ll inevitably hork this shit right back up (see reason #2), taking some extra chunks of whatever you had for breakfast along.  In fact, you’ll probably end up at a calorie deficit after eating it.

 

5.)     Are the ingredients in my house right now?

 

If you’re as trashy as I am, they are.  In abundance. 

 

And if not, they’re nothing that can’t be found at your local Dollar Tree.  Well, Dollar Trees don’t sell hot dogs, but they sell taffy, and that’s close enough, right?

 

But seriously, peeps, my kids and I had so much fun making this “meal,” giggling as we watched to see who could fit the most spaghetti noodles into his/her hot dog pieces, that it actually ended up serving as our craft for the day, too.  (Mother of the year, bitches!)  And when it was finished, the kids gobbled it up—and so did the hubs, who actually got up from the table to get a second helping. 

 

Of course, he’s learned.  The one time that he did offer “constructive criticism” about one of my dinners, he ate frozen pizza for dinner for 6 consecutive months.  Which, actually, would probably have been preferable to this “meal,” but still.  He was a trouper.

 

So much so, in fact, that I think the kids and I will surprise him with this again tonight. 

 

Dinner’s served, bitches.